Proper News


   December 19, 2000 |  About a Demon Weed

And Scientists Discover Cure for the Scourge of Marijuana

Reported by Abdul Wahid Ibrahim Alekakabar

Uttar Pradesh, India |  BREAKING RESEARCH from the International Sankara Ganjetica Institute in the Parvati Valley has revealed that smoking weed may be an excellent alternative to doing nothing, especially when one is deterred from doing anything else by the relative unpleasantness of doing something that needs to be done.

Herr Doktor Proffessor Unzi Huntar observed the behavior of several marijuana smokers ("stoners") over a period of four years: "The weed comes in and you're doing all kinds of things you might not otherwise do, though in a haphazard manner.  It is often a motivation multiplier rather than a depleter. That's if you get off the couch; if you stay on it, you will never arise. If your motivation is to 'just chill' and do absolutely nothing, then that too will multiply."

Rocker Chrissie Hynd noted, "Whatever I'm already doing becomes enhanced when I smoke pot. It can also be demotivating, because if I'm not doing anything and I smoke a joint, it enhances just sitting in a chair. Then I don't even want to get up to change a record. That might not be a bad thing, but you have to get things done once in a while."

There is also the ineptitude factor. While seemingly opening your mind to a quasi-mystical level of reality, the influence of ganja smoke does in fact diminish certain aspects of mindfulness, the ability to be aware of what one is doing in the moment.  This can cause clumsiness, anti-social behavior, and even mild paranoia.  In some cases, it has resulted in the deepening of neurosis. With the mindwinds stirred up by a veritable ganjetic tornado, awareness runs from one object to the next, rarely stabilizing in what one is doing or saying.  If it does manage to focus, then there is a timeless moment of synthesis, an integration of awareness and action that is rare and beautiful.  All neurotic or paranoid tendencies dissolve in that moment, and the subject is freed from the tyranny of the object.

"Perhaps this is what stoners crave, and have not experienced through other methods," muses Professor Huntar.

And this is why it is, perhaps, different than other drugs.  It is a drug of attention AND distraction, one that can raise OR lower inhibitions, one that adds fog but also clarity -- moments of deep clarity isolated from each other by a fog of distraction.  Tangents are followed, not suppressed, and they can lead to interesting places... or to nowhere.  Work is avoided, but work is done.  Things that must be done are often impossible, but other tasks are attacked with the precision of a commando operation.  Certain things vanish into the black hole, especially if they involve perceived effort or any acts of calculation.

In a striking move of shocking scientific bravery, Professor Huntar subjected himself to the smoke of the ganja plant, and came up with this revelation:

    "Perhaps the herb is a calculation blocker -- the ordinary mind, obsessed with this or that number, this or that monetary outcome, this or that code, takes a break in the weed haze from all that calculation, and an older natural awareness arises.  Oh yes, those trees really are GREEN today, aren't they?  Perhaps this is why the herbal spirit is the enemy of the state, because she confuses the bureaucracy by turning human actions to plant interests... the urge to consume the plant encourages its growth and spread, its constant rebirths from seed and sliver. "

So by this logic, if society creates another impetus for the hemp plant to grow, the illusory addictive power of the plant will diminish somewhat.  If industrial uses such as paper and rope are causing vast fields of the plant to take seed, then the plant spirit will not need to put so much pressure on her closest devotees to keep herself alive and well.   So, industrial hemp will alleviate the drug problem, and should receive as many federal subsidies as the timber industry.

The Sankara Ganjetica Institute has submitted a formal white paper on the subject to the International Substance Abuse Hotline.



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