MPM: Senator, could you briefly define what is a "Hate Crime," and how a "Hate Crime Law" would stop such an act?

Chuck: If someone say... beats someone up with a steel pipe: that is an assault. Hopefully, the attacker will be prosecuted for their crime. Now, what if the person getting hit is a Chinaman? What if the beater has explicitly expressed hatred towards the Chinese people? We have a new set of dynamics. We have a crime motivated by hate, and I think that should be treated in a distinct manner. With the rise of hate in this country, a very well - documented rise, I think the only way to stem the tide is to enact stronger prosecutorial powers to our judges to cease and punish these types of behaviours.

MPM: As you point out, an assault against, like, shooting a Mexican in the knees, already carries a jail term of, say, six years. Right? So your "hate crimes legislation" would add another say three years, just because the beater had a certain emotional feeling while committing the act? Why hate? Why not anger? Hate is illegal but anger is kosh? Why not have "Anger Crimes Legislation?"

C: Why do-

MPM: But! But. Forget these semantics, more important is this precedent that the Government is punishing hate. Hate Crime Legislation is not about fighting crime; we already have a judicial system that prohibits assault and lynching and shooting and such, etc. What your crime bill really does is criminalize emotions and beliefs of the individual, not their actions. How's that? Can my government tell me how I must feel, tell me I am not allowed to hate a Black man, or a storekeeper, or a cop, etc.? And if I do, can I be put in prison? And if am, is that stopping "hate?"

C: Well, I think that might get us a step in the right direction, at-

MPM: 'Scuse me, Senator. What?! What if I beat up a white man because I hate him? Do I get another eight months just because I hated him, the guy?

C: Yes. A Hate Crimes Bill would protect the civil rights o-

MPM: Ok. Ok. Now, what if I beat up a Nazi? Are you going to prosecute me doubly because I hated this Nazi? Maybe I even say, "Kill all Nazis," as I'm thrashing this guy. Now, you're going to try me for a hate-crime? I get two years for the beating and another three years because I hate Nazis?

C: (pause)

MPM: So what you're saying is "Hate Crimes Bill" is going to give you power to punish me for my views. You are not allowed to hate certain people. Senator Schumer, you are endorsing a policy that merely will dictate who the government allows an individual to like and dislike, under penaly of law. And then you can show off to Upstate housewives that you are doing something to fight oppression.

C: Listen, if I'm walking down the street, and I see "Timmy was here" on the wall written in marker... that's vandalism. Tim is going to spend a night in jail. But if I see "Kill Jews," well, I want Tim to spend a little more time locked up and put away to reflect on the values and rules we have in this country.

MPM: And sitting in jail, they'll realize love towards other. No, you just get a hard-on by locking people up, Senator. And secondly, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the whole point of this country was that we said, "We hate the British," and wrote it all over our walls. So, if your bill was around back then, we'd be jailed for expressing that sentiment. On top of jail time people are served for vandalism, you're sentencing people for their political belief.

I think that is important to reiterate: there is already an advanced judicial system that prohibits beatings, shooting, and vandalism. If you don't think that works, you think adding another jail term is going to lessen hate in this country? This "Hate" bill is just another band-aid that lets you off the hook from doing any real changes that might indeed increase tolerance in this country. So, Senator, would you please give us a list of the groups you are allowed to hate, and those you cannot hate?

C: Don't be snide with me.

MPM: No, I'm serious. Will it be a crime to hate Muslims?

C: Yes, it would be.

MPM: Ok, would it be a crime to hate racists?

C: I hate you.

MPM: And I hate you, you greasy-haired, snake-oil-selling bastard.

To be honest, I can't remember if Sen. Schumer was there during the interview, but you get the point. Schumer's last political heroism was attempting to sabotage the Hyde Reform Bill on Drug Seizures and Forfeiture. What a Tough Guy On The Drug War. What a complete idiot.